Thursday, November 25, 2010

Sticker: Li'l Misfit On Board

OMG, I’m becoming one of those parents, you know the ones, the ones with “Baby on board” stickers on their cars. Maybe you are one of those parents. well, word up, brothers and sisters, so is Biggie… with a mild twist.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

20% big fat discount on all big fat tshirts

20% big fat discount on all big fat tshirts

20% discount + 100% coolness = 120% of awecoolsomeness!
We at the Big Fat love you so much that we created a new word, just for you: awecoolsomeness!

Now you can impress all your friends with this swell new adjective. Imagine how tingly in the pants they will be when you bellow “That math lesson was awecoolsomeness!”, or how chuffed your mom will be, when you chirp, “Mom, that slightly burned meatloaf was so awecoolsomeness, I will do the dishes, and pick up puppy’s poo!”

Our love and gift-giving does not end with a mere neologism! In fact, we love you eternally. This is not the kind of love that lasts until a week after Christmas, and is then sent to the Lost Love Home, with the other smelly discarded loves. This eternal love will last… well,  eternally. To prove it we are giving you 20 big fat percent off our cotton thsirt finery at our good friends at Red Bubble.

Unlike our eternal love, the discount will end on the dawn of 2011, and will be sent to the Lost Discount Home, where we are hoping it will be adopted by young, professional couple. 

Don’t forget kids, Big Fat Robot only has 2 settings: pleasurin’ and destroyin’ (all humans). I recommend we nurture the former.

Tuesday, October 26, 2010

Friday, October 22, 2010

Buyers DoWear... in Mongolia

That's right, you heard it here first. Our big fat friend has made its first, and perhaps only, appearance in the land of the Mongols... Mongolia.

Before Attila the Hun was a green-hued, slug-like nemesis of Jedis and freedom lovers alike, he was a significant historical figure that did some stuff.

I bet he would be rolling in his yak-lined coffin if he saw this cheeky number rolling along his horse-hewed tracks.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Friday, July 9, 2010

New tshirt: Captain Kirk Cherub

By massive demand (ie 2 peeps) I now make available my nudey Captain Kirk cherub, from this tee

Live long and nudey, Star Trek style!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Friday, April 23, 2010

New tshirt: Green Girls Have More Fun with nudey cherubs

My odd fascination with green women and cherubs continues unabated.

This time the cheeky cherubs are none other than the Star Trek Lotharios: Captain James Tiberius Kirk and Commander William Thomas Riker.

The Stardate is meant to represent when the Orion Syndicate (the hot green people) were first encountered by the Federation. However, there is much nerdish zealotry and conjecture to this, which I won’t bother to discussing here.

Monday, April 5, 2010

New tees: Green girls have more fun

A couple versions of my Orion Slave Girl in the buff. For us nerds who like a little sauciness with their Star Trek.

Green Girls
est Stardate 7564.1

Green bottom Girls
Make the Rockin’
Orion Syndicate
Go round

Thursday, February 11, 2010

Itty Bitty Ditties - Teaser 'Bladder'

Oh joy of joys, an animated song that purports that love does not originate in the heart, but in the bladder, something I've always suspected.

This bladder-ladened teaser is from Itty Bitty Ditties - a 10-part TV series from PRA (the fine folk that conjured the wonderful Nick Cave-narrated Cat Piano) featuring Brian the Budgie and his reliable Hog named Ernst as they travel far and wide singing nonsensical songs about frivolous subjects in harmony with their musical cohorts.

It will be airing on the new children’s channel, ABC3, at the ungodly (and oddly precise) hour of 6.53am. So I may have to get the DVD.

It also features lyrics by Tom Bettany of The Beards, my favourite hirsute band from Adders.

Friday, February 5, 2010

ConfusedUs Says: ep. 1 Lip synching foolery

Just a little lip synching test...

Maybe not as polished and rivetting as my former post, but from an ugly seed an agreeable shrub may bloom.

Great animation

Stumbled upon the Last of the Dashkin by Adam Phillips. A beautifully told and executed story of a lonely, yet tyrannical beast on a forest planet. Done in Flash, it's a must-see.

Putting some nerd cool on my noggin

I took the plunge and ordered some Shuron Sidewinders spectacle frames from the interwebs the other day. I couldn't resist when my partner found, who have a section for people with "Huge Noggins: XL frames for men with big brain boxes". Not sure about the brain bit, but the box is huge!

My head is Bert Newtonian in girth. So, I need a little more moulded plastic than most.

The rest of my body is in proportion, but I suspect that is because it is needed to support the superstructure of my head.

Yet to receive them, but hopefully soon a little bit of 50s nerdery will be sitting pretty on my noggin.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

New tshirt: Zombie like guitar

When not eating braiiins, our undead friends like to unwind with bit of Guitar Hero...

A character for an animation I'm working on.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

CGChallenge 25: short story... 'Attack of the Werewolf Cheerleaders from Outer Space'

I wrote a short story in homage to B-grade storytelling (I did it in a drunken hour whilst waiting for a friend in a pub). Here it be in all its gory gooness...

'Attack of the Werewolf Cheerleaders from Outer Space'
by Michael "Wolfman" Hepburn

“Oh Chuck, you are the swellest boy I ever did meet,” chirped a pretty blonde girl, whose curvaceous body was barely covered by a cheerleader's uniform.

“Oh Cherry May, you are the sweetest girl I ever did see,” replied Chuck, a tall, muscular quarterback, who had only a moment before gave Cherry May his varsity jacket. She looked excitedly at it and repeatedly kissed the B-shaped chenille patch; symbol of their High School's football team - the Mighty, Fighting Beavertown Beavers. State Champions, 10 years in a row.

They sat in his father's convertible Oldsmobile, on the edge of Lovers' Cliff, which overlooked the quaint, small mid-western town they called home. A town full of simple, hard-working folk.

Cherry May stopped kissing the jacket and looked at Chuck's big blue eyes, and then his mouth. Though delightfully coy, she gathered the courage to say “Chuck, I think we should go to... second base now.” Chuck bellowed a “yee-haw” and nervously kissed his sweetheart's lips.

While in their fumbling embrace, they didn't notice the ground shaking and the trees swaying. Nor did they notice the clouds parting... revealing a full moon.

Cherry May's breathing began to get heavy. At first, Chuck thought it was because of the heat of their passion, but then she started to hyperventilate.

“What's the matter?” Chuck spluttered.

Just as he asked this, he caught a glimpse of little hairs growing - and glimmering in the moonlight - on Cherry May's upper lip,. “Cherry May, you have a … mustache,” he exclaimed in disgust, wiping his tongue with his hand.

Cherry May paid this no heed, because she was staring at a cylindrical speck that was emerging from the moon. The speck was getting larger. Suddenly, more appeared. They could now see that they were gray saucer shaped flying objects. Countless scores of these “flying saucers” filled the skies.

Chuck saw the fear in Cherry May's eyes, and took a deep breath, forgot about the hair issue, swelled his chest up with all the football courage he could muster and said “Don't you worry none Cherry May, ain't nothin' goin' hurt you when I'm around.”

Cherry looked at Chuck with immense pride and love, but was suddenly wracked with convulsions.

“Oh gosh, not now," she managed to squeeze out of her clenched teeth. "They can't be back yet. Run Chuck, they're coming.”

“Who are 'they'?”

'M-m-m my family.” As she stuttered this, more hair started to sprout all over her face and body. Her mouth started to elongate, stretching her lipstick into a hideous parody of a hairy clown. Her hands and feet grew longer, and stronger. She stood up and howled at the moon. All that remained of the Cherry May that Chuck once lusted after was her little cheerleader's uniform, which was stretched almost to bursting on her now muscular, hirsute frame.

"Oh Cherry May, you are ever so hairy," cried a shocked Chuck. Then he noticed the look of hunger in her eyes... this was the last thing he ever saw. He didn't get to see the flying saucers land, nor the countless werewolf cheerleaders alight, all hungry for jocks.

The beginning ... of the end!

Press Release: CGChallenge 25: B-Movie

Well, it's that crazy time of year... CGChallenge time! The 25th CGChallenge revolves around a genre that is very dear to me... the B-Movie.

I wrote the Press Release for my good chums, and overlords at CGSociety...

The CGSociety's 25th CGChallenge - 'B-Movie: Attack of the 50 foot CGChallenge' - Emerges from the Black Lagoon

CGSociety's 25th CGChallenge calls for artists to delve into the startling world of cheesy horror, schlock and the amusingly bad storylines of B-grade movies, via a still image, video, or, for the first time, sound. Big prizes from CG giants like Dell and Autodesk are on offer.

(PRWEB) January 20, 2010 -- The CGSociety is searching the world for entries to its latest Digital Art competition: "CGChallenge XXV: B-Movie, Attack of the 50 foot CGChallenge".

Adelaide, South Australia (PRWEB) Jan 20th, 2010 -- The CGSociety launches the 25th CGChallenge - 'B-Movie.'

Since the dawn of movies there was always a creepier, scarier, and unintentionally funnier cousin to the big budget blockbusters... the B-grade movie. Cinema screens around the world flickered with startling images of wolfmen, zombies, nuclear-mutated monsters, and, bug-eyed aliens who had a penchant for probing. The 25th CGChallenge - "Attack of the 50ft CG Challenge" - asks artists from all over the Milky Way, to bring these gems back to life, or create their own in the B-Movie spirit.

The CGSociety want A-grade art which celebrates the B-Movie genre. This could be a monster about to attack, an animated scene/trailer for your own imaginary B-Movie, a creepy set piece oozing with fog and the threat of the unknown, or a movie poster with a suitably corny title splashed across it. Let your imagination run riot! However, ensure that it embodies the cheesiness and sense of fun that is the essence of the B-Movie. Many prizes from companies like Autodesk, Luxology, Pixologic and our exciting new partner Dell, await those brave enough to wade into the murky swamp of B-Movie glory.

To help sow the seeds of artists' imaginations, the CGSociety has included inspirational images and short stories to jump-start entrants on the path of gore and mayhem! Here is a mere taste of the spectacle that awaits you:

"Oh Cherry May, you are ever so hairy," cried a shocked Chuck. Then he noticed the look of hunger in her eyes... this was the last thing he ever saw. He didn't get to see the flying saucers land, nor the countless werewolf cheerleaders alight, all hungry for jocks.

"What's wrong?" Justin asked. "There's a… a thing, in the kitchen," replied Caitlin between sobs."A thing? What kind of a thing?" "A man-eating thing. It came after me. Luckily I managed to close the door on it in time. I'm not sure Ralph was so lucky."

"Right, it's settled then. We'll unleash the mutating ray-guns on the Earth's animals and plant-life after lunch," concluded Ishaka of planet Golgonoa. It had been a long meeting. Ishaka looked down the long table at the weary faces of the various leaders from the planets of all the known galaxies. At last, they had come to a decision...

For further inspiration, plunge into cult classics such as "Creature from the Black Lagoon", "The Blob", "Forbidden Planet", "Bride of Frankenstein", "Invasion of the Saucer Men", "Attack of the 50 foot Woman", as well as, the films of Roger Corman, George A. Romero, Russ Meyer, the stylized horror of Hammer Films, 1970s Grindhouse, Japanese monster movies and the 'worse movie ever made' "Plan 9 from Outer Space".

Challenge Sponsors:
The CGSociety is very proud to introduce Dell, Inc. to the growing list of CGChallenge partners. They join the CG industry's best, including: Autodesk, NVIDIA, Luxology, E-On, Stash Media, Pixologic, Gnomon Workshop, ImagineFX, Craft Animations, SideFX, NewTek, TopOGun, Kickstand Labs, Imagineer System, Smith Micro, Maxon, 3D Connexion, 3DVIA, Massive, StudioGPU, and Ballistic Publishing. There's a big list of prizes, which will ensure that the standard will be very high.

Challenge Judges:
This year's Challenge judging panel includes the cream of the CG crop who have worked for the likes of: Activision, Electronic Arts, Eidos, The Moving Picture Company, on game and film titles such as 'Tomb Raider: Underworld', 'Tomb Raider: Anniversary Edition', 'Gun', 'Sin City', 'The Pan's Labyrinth', VFX Oscar winner 'The Golden Compass', 'The Tale of Despereaux', and the upcoming 'Clash of the Titans'.

The judging panel consists of: Gonçalo Pereira, Ishan Shukla, Jose Alves da Silva, Jon Rush, Mark Snoswell, Leigh A. van der Byl and Anton Fletcher. Entrants will need to gather the best of their artistic arsenal to impress these CG luminaries!

The challenge starts now. Image and Video categories will run for different periods of time:

  • The Image category will run for 8 weeks. Deadline: 19th March, 2010.
  • The Video categories will run for 12 weeks. Deadline: 19th April, 2010.

Entries must be made in one of the following categories:

  • Image: Individual
  • Video: Individual
  • Video: Team

All entries will also be eligible for any of the following awards:

  • Modeling
  • Texturing
  • Animation
  • Lighting
  • Visual Effects
  • Landscape/Matte Painting
  • Art Direction
  • Compositing and Editing
  • Best Character
  • Music and Sound

About The CGSociety:
The CGSociety is the most respected and accessible global organization for creative digital artists. The CGSociety supports artists at every level by offering a range of services to connect, inform, educate and promote, by celebrating achievement, excellence and innovation in all aspects of digital art. The CGSociety, along with its sister organization Ballistic Publishing, is a division of Ballistic Media.

Monday, January 4, 2010