I wrote a short story in homage to B-grade storytelling (I did it in a drunken hour whilst waiting for a friend in a pub). Here it be in all its gory gooness...
'Attack of the Werewolf Cheerleaders from Outer Space'
by Michael "Wolfman" Hepburn
“Oh Chuck, you are the swellest boy I ever did meet,” chirped a pretty blonde girl, whose curvaceous body was barely covered by a cheerleader's uniform.
“Oh Cherry May, you are the sweetest girl I ever did see,” replied Chuck, a tall, muscular quarterback, who had only a moment before gave Cherry May his varsity jacket. She looked excitedly at it and repeatedly kissed the B-shaped chenille patch; symbol of their High School's football team - the Mighty, Fighting Beavertown Beavers. State Champions, 10 years in a row.
They sat in his father's convertible Oldsmobile, on the edge of Lovers' Cliff, which overlooked the quaint, small mid-western town they called home. A town full of simple, hard-working folk.
Cherry May stopped kissing the jacket and looked at Chuck's big blue eyes, and then his mouth. Though delightfully coy, she gathered the courage to say “Chuck, I think we should go to... second base now.” Chuck bellowed a “yee-haw” and nervously kissed his sweetheart's lips.
While in their fumbling embrace, they didn't notice the ground shaking and the trees swaying. Nor did they notice the clouds parting... revealing a full moon.
Cherry May's breathing began to get heavy. At first, Chuck thought it was because of the heat of their passion, but then she started to hyperventilate.
“What's the matter?” Chuck spluttered.
Just as he asked this, he caught a glimpse of little hairs growing - and glimmering in the moonlight - on Cherry May's upper lip,. “Cherry May, you have a … mustache,” he exclaimed in disgust, wiping his tongue with his hand.
Cherry May paid this no heed, because she was staring at a cylindrical speck that was emerging from the moon. The speck was getting larger. Suddenly, more appeared. They could now see that they were gray saucer shaped flying objects. Countless scores of these “flying saucers” filled the skies.
Chuck saw the fear in Cherry May's eyes, and took a deep breath, forgot about the hair issue, swelled his chest up with all the football courage he could muster and said “Don't you worry none Cherry May, ain't nothin' goin' hurt you when I'm around.”
Cherry looked at Chuck with immense pride and love, but was suddenly wracked with convulsions.
“Oh gosh, not now," she managed to squeeze out of her clenched teeth. "They can't be back yet. Run Chuck, they're coming.”
“Who are 'they'?”
'M-m-m my family.” As she stuttered this, more hair started to sprout all over her face and body. Her mouth started to elongate, stretching her lipstick into a hideous parody of a hairy clown. Her hands and feet grew longer, and stronger. She stood up and howled at the moon. All that remained of the Cherry May that Chuck once lusted after was her little cheerleader's uniform, which was stretched almost to bursting on her now muscular, hirsute frame.
"Oh Cherry May, you are ever so hairy," cried a shocked Chuck. Then he noticed the look of hunger in her eyes... this was the last thing he ever saw. He didn't get to see the flying saucers land, nor the countless werewolf cheerleaders alight, all hungry for jocks.
The beginning ... of the end!
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